my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
