There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
