i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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