Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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