She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
