I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
