How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
