i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize