I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
