that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
