im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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