even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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