9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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