he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Are we still banned from the library?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
