just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
