Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
be right there i have to get my cape
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize