don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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