Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
