She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
