I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
