I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
