i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
