my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
