When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
