And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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