Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
