In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
