I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
