the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
