i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
