Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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