i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
