the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
