Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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