...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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