I think my fart just growled at me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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