I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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