ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
