end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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