Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
