Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
