The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
