yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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