u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
