so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I FOUND THE LEGS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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