OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
