i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need water and some morals
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
