I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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