farters have to be the big spoon...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
