I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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