Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
