talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
