last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
