shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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