woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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