My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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