You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
