Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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