Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
