My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
