But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
