I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
