Me. At least after what I've been through.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
