How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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