Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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