I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
