i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Randomize
