i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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