I love black thongs
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
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