Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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